I hate Sunday afternoons.

[rubberbutton]

1) While at my grandparents' house over Christmas break, I found some old Foxfire books. The series started in the 70's as a school project to record and preserve the folklore and traditions of rural Appalachia. Because I am unable to resist anything that provides a) useless trivia about hog dressing and moonshining or b) a valuable reference for writing or c) both, I've borrowed the whole collection -- save for volume eight, which was loaned out sometime in the early nineties and never seen again.

Here are some home remedies from the first volume that really amuse me:

FEVER: Tie a bag containing the sufferer's nail parings to a live eel. It will carry the fever away.

SPIDER BITES: If bitten by a black widow spider, drink liquor heavily from 3 P.M. To 7 P.M. You won't get drunk, you'll be healed.

And even if you're not healed, you sure won't care about the spider bite.

WARTS: Steal a neighbor's dishrag. Wipe it across the warts and bury it in the woods.

Why does it have to be a neighbor's dishrag, is my question.

WORMS: For tapeworm, starve it. Then hold some warm milk up to your nose and sniff deeply. The tapeworm will sick his head out of your nose to get the milk. Hold the milk farther and farther away from him, thus drawing him out.

... I have no words.

---

2) Dammit. Broke down and started watching Merlin. It reminds me a lot of Robin Hood -- crappy, slashy, and they both took Historical Accuracy out back and beat the shit out of it with a rubber hose. It's okay, Historical Accuracy, run back to HBO where you belong.

2b) Why does merlinxarthur have 1,824 members and robinhoodslash have a measly 325? NOT FAIR.

2c) I am not so butthurt over it that I'm going to quit watching Merlin. My principles? Are flexible. I'll go where the fic is.

---

3) I'll take Weird Shit You Can Buy On The Internet for a thousand, Alex. Check out this uterus plushy. The seller also seems to specialize in vagina necklaces and does -- wait for it -- vagina portraits.

“Celebrate your own beauty, and smile at the fact that when friends come over and compliment the painting they are complimenting your Vagina.”

... I'm not sure I want my friends complimenting my vagina, actually. And honestly, how sheltered would your friends have to be not to recognize this? (Sooo NSFW. Also probably not for the faint of heart.) "Gee, RB what a colorful paint--OH MY GOD." "Thanks, it's a little portrait of me I had done. I think it's a good likeness."

Don't get me wrong, I'm all about the vag love -- read the Vagina Monologues and everything -- but just because I like my vagina doesn't mean I feel the need to hang a 16" by 18" painting of it my livingroom.

Comments

[silja-b.livejournal.com]

1)

Why does it have to be a neighbor's dishrag, is my question.

Why use your own when nicking one is so easy, is probably a more pertinent question *g*

As for the tapeworm...no, I've no words either.

2)

I abhor Merlin. And Robin Hood. And that new Demons crap despite (or, actually, because) of Phil Glenister. They all have two thing in common: A) An idea that could have been really good if B) they hadn't aimed it at teenaged girls (and, to be fair, a few boys).

3)

"Gee, RB what a colorful paint--OH MY GOD." "Thanks, it's a little portrait of me I had done. I think it's a good likeness."

Bwahahahaha.

[rubberbutton.livejournal.com]

Why use your own when nicking one is so easy, is probably a more pertinent question *g*

Hahaha -- excellent point.

I abhor Merlin. And Robin Hood.

They really are horrifically bad. But there's, like, a bell curve of badness. They've passed good, mediocre, bad, and really bad -- now they're into so-bad-it's-good.

...Yeah. Even I didn't believe that. I have no excuse, I just have bad taste.

[silja-b.livejournal.com]

They really are horrifically bad. But there's, like, a bell curve of badness. They've passed good, mediocre, bad, and really bad -- now they're into so-bad-it's-good.

...Yeah. Even I didn't believe that. I have no excuse, I just have bad taste.

Well, yes. But they're strangely hypnotic in the 'small space parasites will eat your brain if you're not careful' sort of way, which, considering Russell Davies' involvement is a little scary. Do you want some recs for good UK drama?

[rubberbutton.livejournal.com]

Do you want some recs for good UK drama?

Sure thing! I can always watch more t.v. Although, I have to warn you, I did not care for Torchwood -- shocking, I know.

[silja-b.livejournal.com]

Hm, recent stuff...Devil's Whore is very good and has John Simm in it. The adaptation of 39 Steps they showed over Christmas was quite good. Little Dorrit is worth a look too if you're into period dramas.

And of course, there's classics like State of Play and Second Coming but I'm not sure you can find those online. Oh, and if you haven't tried it yet: Blackpool. It has Davids Tennant & Morrisey tangoing to These boots were made for walking.

My own current guilty pleasures are I, Claudius and Cadfael with Sir Derek. Good times, those.

[rubberbutton.livejournal.com]

Little Dorrit is worth a look too if you're into period dramas.

Into period dramas? Like you would not believe. I will definitely have to put Little Dorrit in the queue. And The Devil's Whore -- the title alone would make it worth a viewing.

My own current guilty pleasures are I, Claudius and Cadfael with Sir Derek. Good times, those.

Yes! Man, I grew up watching I, Claudius and Cadfael. Come to think of it, all the I, Claudius in my formative years really explains a lot about me.

Dang it, Silja, quit raising my standards like this. It's so inconvenient.

[silja-b.livejournal.com]

In that case: Cranford /w Judi Dench! Have you watched Bleak House? Brilliant stuff although I should warm you that it has Burn Gorman, late of Torchwood, in't. And that wanker Johhny Vegas.

I'd avoid Lost in Austen despite Guy Henry as Mr Collins.

[rubberbutton.livejournal.com]

Oh I loved Crandford! I believe my mother owns the entire Elizabeth Gaskell collection. I haven't see Bleak House, yet, but it's only a matter of time.

I'd avoid Lost in Austen despite Guy Henry as Mr Collins.

HAHAHA. TOO LATE. ...And Maybe there really is no hope for me.

[silja-b.livejournal.com]

Oh, and you might want to read up on the English civil war on wiki before tackling Devil's Whore. It's brilliant but utterly perplexing if you don't know what a roundhead is.

[rubberbutton.livejournal.com]

*hits the books*

[ignazwisdom.livejournal.com]

1. Those home remedies are priceless;

2. Merlin is popular probably because it's based on the same premise as Smallville (apparently!), and I guess enough people found it and ran with it;

3. I would definitely get a plush uterus for someone as a gift, but I think I could find one cuter than that. No, I know I could find one cuter than that.

No comment on the vag portraits. *shudder* Okay, I guess that was a comment.

[rubberbutton.livejournal.com]

I would definitely get a plush uterus for someone as a gift, but I think I could find one cuter than that. No, I know I could find one cuter than that.

Haha, I'll just bet you could. Apparently the market for plushie uteri is greater than I had previously guessed.

No comment on the vag portraits. *shudder* Okay, I guess that was a comment.

Personally? I'm thinking it's a great gift option. What do you get the woman who has everything; I'm just sayin'. I wonder if the artist offers gift certificates....

[ignazwisdom.livejournal.com]

I know there are a lot of knitting patterns out there for uteruses (uterii?). I think they'd make awesome baby gifts, personally. :)

[asynca.livejournal.com]

Omg. I've seen really high quality vagina paintings - that have more texture and are more abstract than that. That's a crap painting. Also, that woman really needs to wipe her ass more thoroughly.

[rubberbutton.livejournal.com]

Why does it not surprise me that you are a vagina painting connoisseur? :P

[dangomango.livejournal.com]

I realized I hadn't "heard" from you in a while (or awhile, which shows what my English major has been doing for the past four years, sigh) and so I came over here.

And now I am reading about tying nail parings to an EEL so it can carry a fever away.

I am a fan of you :D and it is possible that this is an old(ish) entry (eta: I checked and it is! score!), but you know :3

[rubberbutton.livejournal.com]

Hiya, doll!

I realized I hadn't "heard" from you in a while

I've been pretty quiet. I keep meaning to post ... but I'm lazy.

And now I am reading about tying nail parings to an EEL so it can carry a fever away.

I'm really curious about the best way to affix anything to an eel. It's not like they have necks to but a collar on, or limbs for bracelets or even ears to tag. I've spent way too much time thinking about this, clearly.

I am a fan of you :D and it is possible that this is an old(ish) entry (eta: I checked and it is! score!), but you know :3

Heh. I like comments whenever I get them. :D

[dangomango.livejournal.com]

Hee! I know what you mean re: "to post or to be lazy not to post?" especially since I've been busy and yet lazy at the same time. It's a talent or something.

And I stupidly didn't even think about where one could affix a...bag or whatever, to an eel. I just thought "to its neck"! But eels are ALL NECK. Or maybe they're all tail? Hmm. I know they have scaryass teeth, or maybe it's just because they look like something nightmares would excrete...anyway, I hate eels.

Also, I read the little sci-fi original story snippet you posted but LJ ate my comment, so I will just tell you here that I enjoyed it. *g*